This last week a very dear friend of thirty years left me for a place I am not destined to go to in the very near future. Then again, one never knows for sure. It isn't the first time she has gone on travels I haven't been able to accompany her, but is one of the most difficult to watch her depart.We have had some wild rides. Like the time we drove across country to visit her daughter, and she decided to bring her very poorly behaved dog along. When we needed to stop for the night, she said, pretend he is your seeing eye dog, no one will ever know. When I balked, she said, no worry, I will wear my neck brace (which for some odd reason she brought with, considering she hadn't any neck issues) and said I'll just tell the front desk he is my service dog.
This dog, my children christened Bad Charlie. He was dependable to do whatever you did not want him to do. With a vengeance. I was very hesitant to go along with this gambit, but she plowed ahead. All went reasonable well, considering the opportunities for disaster. This was our way. I was ever cautious, and she was ever intrepid.
We went on painting trips, sailed the inner passage to Alaska, Bahamas by boat, planned weddings for our children, weeded gardens, weathered winter in Florida, walked our dogs together, pull ticks off the dogs as well as each other, not to mention the emotional hurts, and hard situations. We were our own support group for what it was like to raise four children, while our husbands traveled for work, what to make for dinner, how to get out of making dinner, and strategies for keeping the house clean.
Her travels without me were much more exotic. Galopolous Islands, Palau to scuba dive, anywhere to scuba dive, China, Africa, the Olympics in Spain, Europe a multitude of times, but she never wanted to go back to Ireland (too damn rainy, and too much beer), and always bringing me something she saw that reminded her of me.
For me, everywhere I went, I saw something that reminded me of her, and tried to bring back a piece of it for her to share in the adventure.
She opened my eyes to a world I had never seen before. She cared for my children, when I couldn't. She encouraged me to create (she was the most creative person I have ever known, even if sometimes she created a crisis). She dared me to think outside of my very small box, and loved me when I couldn't.
She was part mother, part sister, and totally my dearest friend.
This last trip, she took a week ago Friday, it was to be her most exotic, and she went there surrounded by those she loved, which is the best way to go, in my book. The hardest part though is there won't be any postcards with tidbits of her trip, no souvenirs from her sights, but then again, she gave so many while she was here, I haven't any right to complain. I will have to shore myself up from those for the rest of my life.
Before she drifted away on this most individual trip of all, (passing from life unto to death) she held my hand, thanked me for being her friend, while in essence, she deserved all of the thanks.
