Woodpeckers - no kind thoughts

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This is where I would like to work peacefully,
 with out a woodpecker driving me nuts. 

There is a woodpecker that is single-handedly attempting to make me go crazy. What is that movie, you know the one, where the main character is being sabotage to think she is loosing her marbles? That is how I have felt this whole week.

As I sit in my office each morning to accomplish all of the tasks at hand, a lone woodpecker joins me, only it is on the outside while I am in the inside of the house. It is like living in the middle of a rehearsal of the percussion section of the orchestra. Or when I was a kid, and my older brother practiced the snare drum, I can hear my mother now, "must you do that now? Find somewhere else, would you, how about the garage?"

The bird works it's way across the siding like there is no tomorrow. While I, intermittently throw open the window closest to where it is machine gunning the house, and yell things like: "Would you please stop?!" or "Knock it off!" or "Go away!". Until that is, my eighty-seven year old widowed neighbor, who I might add is very hard of hearing, comes over and asks,, "were you calling me?" Embarrassingly,  I try to explain that I am just yelling at a woodpecker, to which she relies, "What did you say?".

It even drives Clementine nuts.
Well, maybe she already is...but we love her just the same. 

Other times, I resort to getting up from my desk, running outside and waving my arms at the blasted bird, who only turns and looks at me,  and then,  VERY leisurely,  hops to the tree next to the house, looking at me like:  Boy, is she crazy. Which I am heading towards,  very rapidly.

My husband's response to the bird is less civilized. Fortunately, we do not have any C-4, which I might have wrong, but I think is some sort of explosive. Before we begin to look like Wiley Coyote,  and the Road Runner, I remind him that the bird would not be there if there were not some sort of insect in the siding. Which makes him even happier.

So, today, I am waiting for the man to come and give me
quote on cement siding to replace the cedar siding we currently have. ARGH! We have been in this house twenty-eight years and the on going discussion has been: paint again or change out the siding. The price tag will provide the answer.

 As I write this, I have visions of little woodpeckers with bent beaks, (if we were to go with the cement siding option) thinking to themselves, "Holy Cats! I had better find a new victim."